H. Crow

Tag: relationships

  • D Log

    You ever just get speechless? Wordless? Can’t even utter a sound? That is me right now. I can’t figure out what I was doing. It’s like someone just dropped me off the Fortnite bus. What next then?

    Can’t be sure what to feel. Reminiscing puts me down and fantasizing keeps me up. Reality is there in the middle, and I am orbiting around it.

    Where is the gravity taking me? I am in free fall, and there is no ground to speak of. Somehow, I worry. There is a crash waiting to be had, into a wall, the sun, something. There is a dull echo, but I can’t find the source. It must be the thoughts in my own head.

    Should I chase it? Am I being beckoned or lured? Should I trust those thoughts?

    Am I flying too far off the ground? I thought that’s what I wanted wings for. Now I just hope these wings can help me land safely. I will never forget the wind that gave me a lift. The air I breathe, I feel suffocated if it is only my own. I want to breathe his again.

  • Solution for the closed off lovers.

    Solution for the closed off lovers.

    The best things for love to last is going to be turning the heart into a home for it.

    The heart can’t live for nothing, it has a tie to the truth of what is presented to it.

    It may be hard to love or hard to trust, and it just takes letting people into your heart, and only closing it off for the ones who want to stay there invited.

    So, let those vampires walk through your house and invite themselves, but if they really need your invitation, let them if you know what you are getting yourself into.

    Love is what you let into your heart, and your heart is the container. If you want to be scientific instead of romantic, it doesn’t change the truth. Liquid takes the shape of its container, and your blood vessels are the container. They all lead in and out from the heart.

    So when you want to hold your breath for a moment because the memories keep replaying… Just let it go.

    So that’s your solution. Breathe. Hear the sound through your heart resonating from your bones, (y’know, where the blood comes from inside the marrow).

    Shed some tears too. They are like precipitation from the water cycle in your body. The condensation of water that cools as it reaches a level in the atmosphere where it can clump and form droplets. Some say water holds memories. Let the memories pour out.

  • Expectations

    Expectations

    They might not be comforting or witty or someone I know. They may not be perfect, my platform to stand on, or someone I can control. They might make me shift my priorities. I might need moments to myself. I may be misunderstood. I may be in a battle with myself while they want me to be unoccupied. I might be lazy and boring on days they want excitement. They might be worse than me in everything they do. I might misjudge them or lose them entirely. I might have to do more internal work and rituals to change my headspace. I might need to let them walk away or call them back. I might not like all their friends. I might not have all the answers nor do they. They might speak a language I don’t know fluent. The little things might tick us off. The desire to be alone may be filled by someone else for the moment. I may never get my life where I want it. I might always fight the same battles. They may not like my music. They may not like any music. Something might be off about them. My messages may go unnoticed. Our time might mean nothing.

    It might still be worth defying my expectations.