While I have done a lot of pondering in this blog, there’s also been some actual life changing events in my life. I have been managing a break-up, figuring out what I want to do for a career, etc. Even this blog itself was a step. Now I must take more than a couple steps– I need to jump off the moving train.

I actually know what I want to do with my life now, at least as my lifelong passion project. I want to remain within the world of birds, my sanctuary, and nurse trees that produce the fruits for them. I want to start out with some dogwoods, because it could attract bluebirds and cedar waxwings. I have yet to see the former, and the latter is my favorite bird. I actually like plants a lot too, and I believe they hold a lot of significance. Only thing is, I never had a nursery, my own business, or maintained several plants at all! This is surely going to be a big jump from what I am used to.

I am learning how to love again. I had a lot of trouble with keeping things stable, but now I am seeking someone who seeks stability too. Comfort alone is as nice as a mattress on the floor. I want a nice frame and house, the windows should be clear, and the air should smell nice. A home isn’t just a home, it’s who you share it with. Now I just have to start opening up the can of worms, pandora’s box; I need to take another jump.

I used to do track and field. Ironically, I did not like the running part because I wanted to be a jumper. I may not have always gotten what I wanted and had to run in a couple disappointing races, but at least it reminded me who I was. I look to overcome absurd objectives. I could keep running in circles if I wanted, but that won’t make the path shorter or the bar lower. I want them to keep raising the bar so that each jump above it is more and more surprising. Sure, it might feel like I have to let go of everything, but in that air suspended, I know someone or something will break my fall.