I need to get more sleep, or at least it needs to feel more fulfilling. Some nights like the last, I will have a bedtime around 5 to 6 AM. Other days I can manage at 4 AM. If only my mom didn’t make do much noise at 5 AM, but to be fair it’s all on me because I could just sleep at 12 AM if I let my body.

It is a drag to have to wake up for a deadline or work when it would spike your performance with just “five more minutes!” Those five minutes are usually why I am fifteen minutes late to work.

I can’t get why I wake up in random positions. We can record ourselves sleep via audio these days, but few people actually record a video of our sleep. It would be convenient to have the camera crew in my bedroom just to watch me sleep. I would probably be more inclined to finally go to bed on time, like “the camera crew comes in at 11 PM so I need to shower and look good by 10:40 PM,” you know, stuff like that.

These days, it always feels like there is something to think about that feels better avoided. Like what we plan to do with our lives or whether that relationship is going to pan out. Thinking in 2025 is a scam. It was good like 10 years ago, but the diminishing returns are ruthless. It feels so much better to watch and listen to the little birds outside my window. I don’t think I need thought to enjoy that.

-H. Crow